The pain I never wanted to know

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A week ago today it was confirmed that we would never hold our twins in our arms…one was already gone and the other hadn’t grown any since the last ultrasound, three weeks before.
I never dreamed that we’d be wearing these shoes—shoes that were one minute full of joy and anticipation at the thought of having twins running around the house and the next minute full of sadness and emptiness--but we are…and it is not just a bad dream that we’ll soon wake up from.

The facts of Who God is has been an incredible source of comfort.  I have to keep reminding myself of these things when the smile threatens to crumble under a wave of tears. People around us showing that they care and are praying for us is also a huge encouragement.  The Psalms of Ascent or Degrees (Psalm 120-134) have been encouraging and a reminder of where our help comes from and I appreciate Courtney Reissig's testimony on finding her strength in the Lord.  And I know that the facts of God's Word do not change, even when the pain is still there and the struggle of emotions and what I know to be true continues...

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