As Christ Forgave

Without warning, the painful memories flooded my mind. I thought this was all taken care of. Haven’t I already taken this to the Lord and laid it at His feet? Why does it have to hurt like it just happened yesterday? 

As I lay in bed, my throat constricted and tears welled up in my eyes as my mind re-lived the hurt of days past.

As the painful thoughts swirled around in my mind, other thoughts struggled to remind me of truth:

Yes, I believe I have genuinely forgiven. But it still hurts...oh so much. 

But Christ has called me to forgive. My pain is justified: I was wronged. 

Christ has called me to forgive as He has forgiven. Lord, what does that even mean--“Forgive as Christ has forgiven me?”

I may have forgiven in the past, but I need to forgive…again. But does that mean I just “let go” of the pain?

I need to forgive again…and again…and again. I have to obey. 

Forgiveness: It is so hard to do. Oh so incredibly hard.

We’ve all struggled with it in some way or another.

And while we struggle to do what is right, deep down in our hearts, we know we must do it, for Colossians 3:13 commands us, that, “if one has a compliant against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

The morning after that night when I laid in bed, struggling to do what was right, I sat down on the couch to spend time in the Word and to once again lay before the Lord the weight of the re-surfaced pain. My heart was crying out to the Lord, begging Him to soften my stubborn heart and show me what it means to forgive as He has forgiven me.

And He was faithful to use His Word to remind me of what He has already done for me and to once again “preach the Gospel” to my heart.

So how has Christ forgiven me?

- He took the initiative, even though He was the One who had been wronged:
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

- He forgave all of my trespasses:
“And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together in him, having forgiven us all our trespasses.” (Colossians 2:13)

- He canceled my record of debt:
“…by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with  its legal demands.” (Colossians 2:14a)

- He nailed it to the cross:
“…This [our record of debt] he set aside, nailing it to the cross.” (Colossians 2:14b)

(“Canceled…and nailed to the cross.” I just love this verse. Isn’t it just one of the most beautiful and comforting descriptions of what Christ did for us on the cross??)

- He paid the ultimate price to ensure my forgiveness and reconciliation:
“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit.” (1 Peter 3:18)

- He did it willingly:
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”
(Luke 22:42)

- His example guides me in following in His steps:
“as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13b)

A while back, I came across the following example of  forgiveness in an article by Andree Sue Peterson in WORLD magazine.

She writes:

"Pastor Tim Keller of Redeemer Church in Manhattan shares the following letter from a man who once had to forgive a woman: "I forgave her and it took me a whole year and I had to forgive her in small sums over that whole twelve months. I paid those sums whenever I spoke to her and kept myself from rehashing the past. I paid them whenever I saw her with another man and refused self-pity and rehearsal inside for what she'd done to me. I paid them whenever I praised her to others when I really wanted to slice away at her reputation. Those were the payments but she never knew them. However, I never knew her payments, but I know she made them. I could tell." 

 “In small sums…those were the payments.”  I think those words help capture how forgiveness works out in a practical, daily way: It’s those little, seemingly insignificant moments when we, by God’s grace, choose to live out what we have, out of obedience to His command to forgive, already done in our heart.

Oh, I long for the day when we finally reach heaven and we no longer have to battle with the struggle to do what is right: we will be like Him, standing in His glorious presence. Oh for that day when we will 

But until then, no matter how hard it may be, no matter how “justified” we may feel, no matter how many times it has to be done, God has called us—He has called me—to forgive.

And to forgive as Christ has forgiven me: in unfeigned love, willingly, completely, and without bringing it up again to condemn.