In the meantime

Whether they're big or small, we all have expectations:     We expect the mail to come every day of the work-week.      We expect our children to obey us.     We expect our fridges to be filled with food and our houses to be warm during the cold winter months.     We expect others to treat us with respect.      We expect exercise and healthy eating habits to help us keep our weight down.      We expect those around us to be there for us when we need them.      We expect life to be filled with joy and happiness.  And when our expectations aren't met, then what?   Sometimes the sting, disappointment, and pain of unmet expectations go deep, way deeper than we ever thought they would. We realize how much importance we were putting on the fulfillment of those particular expectations to bring us joy in life.  We also discover (whether we want to or not) t...

The three-year mark since our miscarriage has come and gone.  It kind of surprised me that I didn’t notice the date until after it was past.  I guess that must be an indication that the pain is easing and thoughts of the twins isn’t at the forefront of my mind every. single. day. like it used to be.  I know having Talitha around has helped with that...  And yet thoughts about it still often swirl around in my mind.  We recently read Revelation 4. Verse 11 stood out to me in a unique way:  “ Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. ” As I thought about this verse again today, it brings a measure of encouragement to the miscarriage conversation:  Even when in pro-life circles, there is an {unintentional and subconscious}  tendency to send the message that an under-developed baby that is ...

Isaac and I recently had  a conversation about having to trust God, even when we don’t fully understand everything about His Word or His ways. Sometimes there are gaps in our understanding of how God works and carries out His plan; often these gaps leave us baffled.  How can “A+B” equal “C” in God’s mind, when, in our minds, there is no way that “A+B=C”?  “C”, in our mind, equals something that we parallel with unfairness and unjustness on God’s part.   How can that be what the Bible teaches?  Surely there’s another answer that makes more sense. And so we often do come up with another answer—one that fits the “A+B=C” equation in our mind.  Yet, this answer is often based not so much on God’s Word as it is on what we want God’s Word to say. Struggling with these doctrinal gaps in our understanding of how an infinitely good God could act in a way that seems infinitely wrong is hard, sometimes even gut-wrenching...

 It is easy to give thanks for those good,  often-taken-for-granted things in life: a warm house, family and friends, yummy coffee.  But what about when life gets rough and we have a hard time even noticing those simple things to be grateful for? What about those times when we feel suffocated because of the weight of the burden we’re carrying?  Or when life seems terribly unfair…and we feel like we’ve received the short end of the deal? Or when we want to cry a loud “Why Lord???” and hear a comforting answer that will make everything better again. Can we thank God for those things too?  Can we thank Him in the good times and in the hard? The Bible tells us to.  “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (1 Thess. 5:18) I think God is pleased when we are intentionally thankful for the good things in life. After all, it is His will that we be...

Who am I to question God’s ways?  Yes, God is good.  Yes, He is sovereign.  Yes, I can trust Him.   I don’t say  all that lightly.  When the circumstances of life *seem* to contradict some of these most foundational aspects of God’s character, that is when we struggle to turn those Sunday school answers into real heart-knowledge and a deep-seated conviction and experience of their REALITY and IMPACT on our lives! The struggle  between head knowledge and feelings is real, oh so real…   These foundational truths of God’s goodness, sovereignty, and trustworthiness give strength in time of greatest need…when our faith is so weak and feeble…when we, like Peter, can only see the waves crashing in around us in the middle of the storm.  When we can do nothing but cry out “Lord, help me in my unbelief of Your goodness towards Your children, because right now, I can’t seem to see past the here and now, even though I know You’ve prom...

Have I mentioned how encouraging the book of Psalms has been to me lately? “Blessed be the LORD, because He has heard the voice of my supplication.  The LORD is my strength and my shield , my heart trusts in Him and I am helped;  Therefore my heart exults , and with my song I shall thank Him. / The LORD is their strength, and He is a saving defense to His anointed. / Save Thy people, and bless Thine inheritance; Be their shepherd also, and carry them forever.  (Psalm 28:6-9) “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. / Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.  (Psalm 27:13-14 ) “His work is honourable and glorious: and His righteousness endureth forever. / He hath made His wonderful works to be remembered: the LORD is gracious and full of compassion.  ( Psalm 111:3-4) “Make me to know Thy ways...

October 15 was Pregnancy and  Infant Loss Awareness Day.  I don’t really have much of anything eloquent or profound to say in light of it, as on one hand, dozens of emotions  are forever crowding my mind, making it hard to even know where to start. On the other hand, I feel empty and dried up, with no more emotions to be had…. Anyway, I do want to share something someone else has already said that is way better than anything I could ever say.  Here’s for you moms out there who know the pain and sorrow of losing a child: Be encouraged--it is only a temporary pain, even if it lasts a lifetime. We have a much greater hope and glory to look forward to!  “Every heart knows its own bitterness, and every heart has bitterness to know.  Sin must bring sorrow—tears are the inheritance of earth’s children;  but in the city to which we are going ‘God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying,...

In a time of sadness and grief, God gave comfort and encouragement through His Word the other day. God is good. “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”  Job 1:21 God has taken away our precious little ones. Blessed be His name. God has allowed pain, but He is the God of all comfort. Blessed be His Name. He is the One Who gave us our little ones in the first place. Blessed be His name. He has made us to be as Mt Zion, unmovable and surrounded by the Lord. (Ps. 125:1-2) Blessed be His name. The Lord has done great things for us. (Ps. 126:3) Blessed be His name.  I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in His word do I hope. (Ps. 130:5) Blessed be the name of the Lord.                   He is good and His mercy endureth forever. (Ps. 136:1) Blessed be His name. In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength i...